We have something serious to talk about. Are you ready? Take a deep breath in. And out. OK. I’m going to tell you this in the most gentle way possible.
You’re a blogger.
In fact, you have a particularly acute case of being a blogger. But don’t worry. We have seen cases like yours before, and we have outlined five steps that we see people deal with again and again. Consider it the five stages of blogging as opposed to the five stages of grief.
Here we go.
Stage One: Denial.
You’ve read a lot of articles and posts about blogging, and they’ve all told you the same thing.
It’s hard work.
It’s a huge time commitment.
Even those weirdos Stanford and Margie talk about the complexities of blogging. But you are not going to have these problems. The blogs are going to flow from your fingers like water flows from your faucet, and people will literally be begging you for post number two as soon as you finish post one.
Luckily, you’ll never run out of ideas and every idea you have will be pure gold.
Stage Two: Anger.
Um, why is no one commenting on your posts? Why is no one tweeting links to your posts, for that matter? And why is that person over there getting 34 comments on a 2-line post about printer cartridges?
Oh great, another story about a blogger who made 5 Google dollars after 3 posts. This stinks. This whole blogging thing is for the birds. And not just any birds. This blogging thing is for the birds that are falling out of the sky. Dead. For no good reason.
Stage Three: Bargaining
When you reach stage three, you may seem a little crazed.
At this point, the blogging bug has you good. You find yourself with strange new accessories like Evernote and a Posterous account in addition to your regular blog. You are waking up at 3 AM with ideas that you write and publish. “People in Australia are awake now,” you mutter. You start sending links to your posts out to people.
You comment on 27 posts an hour hoping to get the word out. You join every chat, from Alzheimers support to Zirconium Oxide fans. And in each one, you link to your post about rabbits and the carrots. It’s universal. They will catch the spark. You also reckon that those people getting 34 comments on every post are probably doing exactly what you’re doing, and they’ve been doing it longer. In another month, you’ll be where they are.
Stage Four: “I’m going to quit-itis.”
This penultimate stage is what gets most people. All of your hard work, all of your bargaining, all of your 3 AM ideas, all of your analysis of time zones, and all of your stalking…I meant, all of your engagement with big names has gone for naught.
People are complaining about getting “just” 57 comments. You’re getting goose eggs. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe there are just too many bloggers. You thought you really had something unique with that bunny post, but nobody liked it. You had a really good reaction to a couple of posts in a row, then it fell off again. You don’t know why either thing happened. It’s probably time to head into the locker room. It’s just no use.
Stage Five: Maybe it’s not so bad.
If you can make it past stage 4, which comes into play in no particular chronological or rational way, you find yourself most often at stage five. You realize that you probably need to loosen up a little bit.
You refer back to those documents you read during your dark denial period and realize that they all said that this was going to take time. “Oh,” you think. “By time, they meant literal, actual time. Hmm.”
You recognize that the bloggers who started out on fire didn’t just jump into the blogosphere. They had already built a community for themselves. Maybe it was on Twitter, maybe through their business. Therefore, there’s really no reason for the anger phase. Nobody misled you. You probably don’t smell bad. You’re probably not the world’s grey cloud of blogging. Unless, you know, that’s your thing.
So where are you?
Alright, so, now that you know what you can expect, where are you? Have you experienced each of these stages several times? Did any of them cause you to change your blog name or platform or voice or look or anything else? These are common side effects, after all.
Have a cookie, take a seat, and tell us all about it.
We’re bloggers, too. We’ve been there.
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About Marjorie
Hey Marjorie,
hilarious. love posts like this.
I run a blog called cleancutmedia.com about the influences of media. I am past stage 5, but then again, it’s because I am already in the mindset that I will never have enough time to grow my blog the way I’d like it due to many other more important commitments and causes I am part of.
so I post when I can, I respond to comments when I can.. and really cherish compliments and thanks from my readers when they come
Hi Marjorie, great post. I suppose I’m in stage 2, but I’m not that angry. I see that some bloggers are getting insane feedback from some pretty non-businessy posts, but hey, they’ve put their time in and their network wants to hear what they say. I look forward reading more of your posts!
I guess I’m a hybrid of Stage 2 (but calling it Anxiety rather than Anger) and Stage 3 (Bargaining) — trying to promote my blog, checking to see if anyone has read my blog, hoping someone will comment on my blog, but not wanting to get too crazed since I’ve only written two posts!
I was mired in stages one and two for the longest time when I had just one affiliate site. The blogging game was new to me and although I was promoting a hybrid site (mix of niche micro site and regularly updated blog) I wasn’t seeing any reward.
No comments.
No retweets.
Crickets.
I’ve happily moved on from that failed attempt and am now in stage 5 with my new project. Still plenty of growing pains and challenges (plus an endless to do list) but I look forward to “working” on my site each day!
I am in the middle of planning and designing my blog, so I’ll say that I am at the stage before denial: fear. Wish me luck!
Thanks for the post. Makes me look forward to the next milestones of blogging.
Definitely at denial; I’m still fighting myself to invest in my own domain for crying out loud.
I’m just hoping I’m not a hopeless case at this point. Haha.
Nah. It takes a lot to be “hopeless” in this endeavor. You’re far from it. Hang in there. And don’t let the technology get in your way. You can move to self-hosted later, as I did. Just start getting the writing going!
Marjorie
I have noticed you settle into yourself online, it has been refreshing to watch the growth and transformation you are undertaking. I hope you continue to flourish.
I love list posts with odd numbers, keep the evergreen content coming.
Rocca Rolla
\D
Thanks, Debra. It’s been a great couple of months for me, and I’m very thankful!
Miss talking to ya…how are you?
I think these stages have a cyclical quality to them and therefore I have no idea which one I’m in!
very true! And sometimes they even overlap, which is really crazy. Great point!
Let’s see…Stage 1 – check, although I wasn’t in too much denial, one of the main EXCUSES that had been stopping me for years was the time commitment but I definately underestimated. Stage 2 – check, This is week three and I dont have 50,000 subscribers yet. WTF? Stage 3 – in process. Stage 4 – I am really hoping I can skip most of this step but consider yourself stalked. Looking forward to Stage 5. Thanks for a great post.
Haha, I will do so, Mike. I am sure you will get to stage 5 before you know it
Hi Stanford – I’ve never considered myself a blogger. I’m not a professional writer. I have been on social networks for over 2 years now and have maintained free blogging platforms to share my thoughts and experience with others – just so people can get to know what I’m about, what my expertise and experience is. We’ll, I think I might be ready to go ahead and just say it – I’m going to be a blogger – so in 2011, I ‘m going to start figuring out just how to do that. I’m connected to the best on the web, including yourself, so there is no reason or excuse I can’t learn this craft and be great at it. So, thanks for all you do and I look forward to growing right along with your work.
Cheers!
You’re definitely coming to the right place, Mark. Stanford rocks!
I have been blogging for 6 months and would have to say I am leaving stage 4 and entering stage 5.
I’m starting to tell friends and family that I should submit to a mental exam for starting a blog and then making the commitment to post 5 days a week. I write about a specific genre, so finding content everyday is the biggest challenge. It is very time consuming. Sticking with it is starting to pay off. I am beginning to receive emails with requests to feature projects, rather than hunting them down. I do not receive a lot of comments, but the ones I do receive are from people in that genre. That tells me I am on the right track!
Thanks for writing such informative and helpful posts.
That’s a very aggressive writing schedule, but I’m glad you have stuck with it and that it’s paying off. That’s ultimately what matters!
Thanks for your comment!
I don’t know what stage I am at. But it is probably around stage two on my current blog. I must be on my fifth or sixth blog now, as I went through a phase of deleting all my content and starting afresh as I just wasn’t happy with it. I have also been struggling to find the right balance between useful information and interestingly written. I guess that in time I will get better at writing and someday someone might read my stuff and think it is useful.
One of the first things I would say is to stop deleting. One of the ways that I have been working on my writing is to keep all of my stuff from the very beginning. I look at posts that never got a single look and I analyze why that was. What did I do later that I didn’t do in that post?
It does take an awful lot of time and effort – so hang in there!
Who know that blogging would mimic the stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, and acceptance? I read, I laughed, I agreed. Thanks for posting.
Thanks Claire. That was the idea!
I don’t think I really went through anger or denial. At least not my second trip around the blogosphere!
I have been in the Internet/work at home arena long enough to know it just takes time and a whole lot of hard work!
Ah, well, second trip is probably the key there
If I ever start a new blog again I will definitely skip stage 1 for sure (I don’t want to make any promises about the others though).
Hello. This is good consolation stuff for a full 5 stage-a-day blogger, and I’ve only just begun. Thanks
Keep us posted on your progress, Mark!
Hmm….just yesterday I was feeling discouraged and toying with stage four. Why am I doing this again? Am i really going to get anywhere with it? I know I have found my niche, I’ve had positive responses, lots of retweets, made some great connections, done some guest blogging, writing for a website now…..but how far will I actually get with this? Today? Today I woke up and forgot my discouragement of yesterday. I guess that just happens when your stubborn.
Yeah it often changes faster than you can blink an eye. You have to have a drive to get there though. That stage 4 can be a sticky one to get away from. Glad you did!
Well, I think I’ve been hovering between stages 4 and 5! It’s just so damn easy to slip into the comparison game and you know my lizard brain just never has anything good to say about my accomplishments when I go there! I think it was a BlogcastFM interview I listened to recently that talked about how even those bloggers we perceive as A Listers had to go through these stages as well. An overnight success is rarely that, but rather usually involves a whole lotta behind the scenes work!
Great post Margie!
You’re the second person I’ve met in this space who talks about having a lizard brain. Weird
Anyway, yeah, when I was going through a dip I was amazed at how many people I respected kind of chuckled and said, “Dude…totally been there.”
My eyes got huge. “REALLY?!?”
You should feel happy when things are going well though. It’s too much work not to enjoy it when things go your way
Last Christmas I almost gave up because I couldn’t blog well on a schedule I had set for myself and do my job. But I pushed through, made a community for myself, and blog on my own time about the things I love. I can see myself doing this for a long time.
It surely is addictive, no question about it. So glad to hear that you kept pushing through!
well i couldn’t find myself at any of the place as this my third month as a problogger and getting good feedback from community but sometimes feel alone and that hinders my performance working on it to get rid of it. hope i can work passionately and dominate my niche especially in how-to guides
need support from community and my readers
Three months is a hard marker to get past. Hang in there. It all pays off in the long run
Anger made me laugh,it’s oh so true. I’ve been through all of them and still love blogging. It’s not so bad and I’m not sure what I would do without writing as an outlet.
Yep, anger was a long phase for me. Not just in terms of blogging but on Twitter, too. Luckily, for the most part, I’ve moved to stage 5 in both places. Quite the journey
Thanks for the reminder. I recall Milton’s goal that a “fit audience find, though few.” I’m not quitting my day job, and am really enjoying the growth process. I feel blessed to be able connect with the digital Gandalfs and Dumbledores of 2011.
Thanks Margie and Stanford (?).
–m
Haha
Thanks, Mark. I always thought Gandalf and Dumbledore would be the best of friends…I might have to write a story about that some day 
Awesome Post Marjorie! I started my first blog about a year ago and I definitely went through all 5 of these stages. However, I made sure to reach out in my niche by conducting interviews and it helped extend my network because I made sure to keep in touch which I think is KEY. Also, as I went through these 5 stages, I also neglected my blog A LOT but still made time for networking and actively participating in convos via social media and joining other communities.
With that said, I decided to ditch my old blog and launch a new one! I have decided to change my platform/voice but not my blog name. So I am back to square one and since I have been through it before, I wouldn’t quite say I am stage 1 because I know NOW how hard blogging is but haven’t quite gotten to being angry of stage 2. I’m sure that will change in the coming weeks
Well, don’t get too mad. It can be frustrating, but knowing step 1 eases the feelings of anger I think. You know that it’s not just you, it’s not a judgment specific to you, or anything like that. Helps me, anyway!
If you need help getting that new blog out there, you know you can always call on Stan and me for help!
Very good Margie – entertaining and oh so true!
Thanks, friend!
Great post, Marjorie! Love how you relate blogging to the 5 stages of grief – which I’ve experienced quite a bit in recent years.
As I write this, I’m sitting at stage 5. I have a lot of work to do but that’s no biggie. I’m in no rush and I don’t plan on returning to stages 1, 2 or 4 anytime soon.
Oh, almost forgot… nice picture!
Sorry to hear you’ve been through grief. Hang in there.
Glad to hear you are sitting pretty at stage 5. It’s a good place to be, but I think a lot of people need to go through some of the other stages to get there. I know I certainly did
As for the picture, I wanted something that gave off that “holy crazy!” feeling. I think he does a good job of that
Thanks for your comment!
Oh I do like your posts Margie – you’re a funny lady
I’m going to optmististically say that I’m at stage 5 although in reality I think I’m at stage 6 – a kind of ‘none of the above’ category. Is it possible to get to a stage of not sweating the blog and loving my small number of commenters without having passed through the other stages??
Cathy
Well, if you’re doing it, I guess it’s possible
Glad you enjoyed, Cathy. I appreciate it!